Care for Cheerful Jokes...

Extracted from Reader's Digest:

#1
My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year. I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, "I just used a regular 56K modem."

#2
For years I had been telling my friend Pete that he ate too much fast food, but he always denied it. One day he admitted I was right. "What changed your mind?" "My grandson. When my daughter told him I was coming to visit, he asked, 'Grandpa from Florida, or Grandpa from Pizza Hut?' "

#3
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"